A peek in Akashi Seijuurou's mind
by just give me a random name
Summary: "Stop telling me what to do!" "You are better than they lot why are you so afraid of showing them who is the best here?" "Like I said stop-" "Besides I can't stand the thought of others think that you are defeated by this simple question. An Akashi always win after all we do not know the meaning of losing. I'm taking over."
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story *nervous* please do read it and tell me what you think about it thank you *bows***

* * *

"You know the answer to that question, raise your hand and answer it!"

"No I don't want to always steal the spotlight. I want to give other students a chance."

"Just do it, show them that you are better."

"Stop telling me what to do!"

"You are better than they lot why are you so afraid of showing them who is the best here?"

"Like I said stop-"

"Besides I can't stand the thought of others think that you are defeated by this simple question. An Akashi always win after all we do not know the meaning of losing. I'm taking over."

"Wait-"

A hand was raised up.

"Yes Akashi?"

"The answer is 64 miss Mori."

"Correct! As expected of Akashi," miss Mori commented as she wrote the number neatly on the black board "kids you should follow Akashi's example too okay?"

"Yes miss", came the respond from the primary school students.

"Woa Akashi-kun you are so smart!" whispered a girl from the next table.

"Thank you for your compliment." Akashi replied politely and smiled at the girl.

_Hmmm polite as usual, _said girl thought. _And has one of his eyes always been yellow colour?_

* * *

"I'm not apologise for taking over by force."

"I don't want to talk to you right now be quiet."

"What I did was right and you must admit that you like the feeling of others admire and look up to you. I know this because I AM you."

"I told you to keep quiet you-"

_Knock knock_

"Young master, I brought tea."

"Yes please bring in."

The maid opened the door and confusion was written all over her face the moment she got full view of the room. Putting the tea down, she glanced at her young master and pondered whether she should asked him what was on her mind. She did.

"Young master, I thought I heard you were talking to someone in the room but you are alone?"

Akashi looked at the maid for a good minute. She was starting to regret her decision.

"I was talking to myself that's all."

"But it seemed like there were two people in the room having conver-"

"Like I said," Akashi paused and locked eyes with the maid, "I was talking to myself."

Sensing that he was getting irritated and if she wanted to keep her job she should keep her mouth shut and walked out of the room. And so she did.

* * *

As his form teacher, miss Mori couldn't afford not to worry over Akashi. He was a smart boy, he was polite and sure more mature than most her students; and that was what made her worried. He wouldn't hang out with other kids of his age. During break time, he would sit alone and read his book. He didn't play catching with other boys. He didn't play soccer with other boys. He didn't tease the girls like how other boys did their age. He just didn't act his age.

Miss Mori was very concerned about this because she wanted him to enjoy himself, to have friends and to see him smiling with other students instead of seeing his usual stoic face buried in his books.

"Akashi-kun, it's break time now why don't you go out and play with other students? It seems fun out there!"

As soon as she finished her sentence, she was being looked at by a pair of red crimson eyes. They stared at her for a few seconds then lazily blinked and focused back to the book placed on the table.

"I prefer reading book to going out there." Akashi said as he flipped a page.

"Well, I know that but I want you to enjoy yourself you know go out there and make some friends, have fun with them!" smiled miss Mori.

"I'm enjoying myself here and I'm having fun reading this book. You don't have to worry about me miss Mori." Still glued his eyes to the book, the redhead replied lazily.

Seeing that it was useless to convince her student, miss Mori left after a 'okay then tell me when you finished that book maybe we can talk about it together'. But he couldn't care less, she was just another busy body and treated him like a kid. He didn't like it at all. He didn't like it one bit.

"Maybe you should make her suffer for sticking her nose into your business." A voice inside him said.

"She is still my teacher and she hasn't done anything THAT bad yet."

"Well maybe it's because you are too soft."

"And you can shut up your voice is giving a headache."

With that the boy shut his book. On the other side of the window, other students were running around laughing and chasing one another.

"Make some friends huh?" Leaning his chin on the palm, he continued "it's not like I don't have anyone to talk to right?"

"My dear Akashi, I'm always here for you. Who needs friends when you have me." The reply came. The voice was the same as his even though it was not his.

You can say that Akashi Seijuurou's first friend is Akashi Seijuurou.

* * *

**So...how was it? I wrote akaaka fic because I realise there are very few fics about it and I really like Akashi. I mean both of them you know the mean one and the nice one. So please review and tell me what your opinions thank you ^3^**


	2. Chapter 2

**So this is going to be a short one. I am still in the middle of gathering my ideas for the next chapter and trying my best putting them into words soooo in the meanwhile, please enjoy this short update. **

* * *

When Akashi turned 5, his mother gave him a kitten as a present. The kitten's fur was orange with a hint of red, it has different coloured eyes, one red one yellow. For some reasons, Akashi strangely adored the new kitten. He liked it a lot, especially its eyes colours.

Akashi and Masuru, he named the kitten that, were always seen together. He took really great care of Masuru, from feeding to petting to showering, etc. Akashi himself did them all. So when Masuru disappeared one night, Akashi was so worried. He cried his eyes out, even his beloved mother couldn't comfort him. That was one of those few moments which Akashi shed his tears. A week later, Masuru returned. Akashi was relieved as well as angry. He was relieved because Masuru was fine and it came back. He was angry because Masuru didn't behave itself and left him just like that. Akashi didn't like the feeling of being abandoned. So, when he saw the kitten on his bed, the mixture of those two feelings were boiling inside him. They fought against each other. Eventually, the anger won.

_Just do it, punish it for it abandoned you and came back like nothing happened. _A voice inside his head was speaking to him and it sounded so familiar. So very familiar. Then blackness came.

When the redhead opened his eyes, the scene before him left him speechless. On the floor, there lay Masuru in a pool of blood. It seemed his kitten was being stabbed to death. Who could have done such horrible thing to his lovely pet? Who? The boy got his answer when he saw a blood stained scissor in his hand.

"No...it couldn't be...no...what have I done?!" mumbled to himself, Akashi dropped the scissor as he was backing away from his victim.

"This is not my doing, I wouldn't do such thing, no this is not-" and he lost it. He broke down and sobbed. The guilt was consuming his petite body. It was eating, chewing him slowly, inside out. With his bloody hand, he covered his mouth to suppress a scream threatening to escape. His vision was blurred due to the tears but he couldn't stop them. Then, the voice came.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. I just thought that the cat deserved it for abandoned you. Please don't cry..."

"Who...who are you? Why do you sound like me?"

"I am you, I am Akashi Seijuurou. You can say that I am another you."

"I...I don't get it. You said you are me but I wouldn't do such thing to Masuru...and why can I talk to you but I can't see you?"

"You are you, I am I. We are two, but also one. Do you get it now?"

The truth slowly made its way to Akashi. He was 5 years old when he discovered he has multiple personality disorder. He was 5 years old when he discovered there was another him, another Akashi Seijuurou. And the first thing they did together was to find a spot in the garden and buried their victim.

* * *

**I know it's short but how is it? Anyway this chapter will be important for the next one so stick with me okay guys ^^ like always thank you for reading and please review :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Before you guys read this I have to warn you that Akashi will be ooc in this chapter. It's just that I like to think of him as cute and soft when he was still in primary school, I want him to have that innocent side so yea hope you guys will enjoy it**

* * *

Akashi Seijuurou was one to seldom make mistakes and even if he did, no one was ever fast enough to realise it because he would surely, in no time, corrects his act. So when he was caught red handed by his classmate, needless to say, his pride was shattered into pieces.

"Ummm Akashi-kun, you are supposed to add oil into the pan otherwise the eggs will get stuck on it."

It was home economics period and they were taught how to make tamagoyaki. Akashi himself thought of this subject as useless for when he grows up, he will have his chef cooks his meals. So the redhead didn't even bothered to step inside a kitchen or trying to learn how to cook. Therefore, his knowledge in cooking is zero. A big fat zero. Now let's get back to the school's kitchen where Akashi's pride was, like I mentioned above, shattered into pieces.

"Tsk, this is so embarrassing. How could you not know that to fry eggs you need to add oil into the pan?"

"If you knew why didn't you tell me?! I bet you didn't know that either. You are same as me when it comes to cooking."

"...Whatever, just fry the eggs, get it done and over with. I can't believe you embarrassed yourself, no, us in front of your classmate."

"For your information, I AM trying my best to fry the eggs and it's not like she knows you exist so it's only myself."

A voice interrupted Akashi from hearing his other self. It came from the right side, from the girl who witnessed his mistake.

"Akashi-kun, do you need help? Your eggs are burning..."

They were indeed. Sighing to himself, the redhead was starting to regret not knowing a thing about cooking.

"Here, let me help you." Without waiting for a reply, the same girl removed the pan from the stove into a sink. As smoke was rising up due to water pouring down onto the pan, the girl quickly cracked eggs into a big bowl.

"Here, beat these eggs until they turn really yellow!" shoved the bowl into Akashi's hands, she proceeded to put a new pan on the stove.

Still stunned by the said girl's action, Akashi stood there with an apron on, holding a big bowl full of eggs and looked at her with disbelief in his eyes. _Did this girl just _**_order_**_ me to beat eggs?_

"Akashi-kun, if you don't hurry up beat the eggs, we won't be able to finish making tamagoyaki by the end of lesson."

Reluctantly, the redhead started beating the eggs.

"Why do you help me?"

"Why? I suppose because you seem to struggle with yourself trying to just crack eggs into a bowl?" smiled the girl, "I just can't stand there doing nothing when my classmate is having trouble."

"Thank you very much for your kindness." The boy spoke as he passed the bowl back to her.

"Your speech is very polite even to people of your age, do you know that?" Pouring the mixture of eggs into the pan, the girl made sure a thin layer covered it.

"Is it a bad thing?" questioned Akashi.

"I guess not, it makes you different from others. It makes you seem...difficult to approach." The girl then poured another thin layer after she had rolled the previous one into a nice rectangular shape. "Besides you always talking to yourself, do you have an imaginary friend or something?"

"You can say that." Akashi was feeling uncomfortable. First, this girl witnessed him making a mistake, now she noticed him talking to himself, she must had overheard when he was talking to another Akashi.

"Also that one time, during maths period, one of your eyes turned yellow and you were I don't know, a different person."

Upon hearing that, Akashi froze. _She knew! She knew about me! _The familiar voice rang inside his head like siren. Handing the finished tamagoyaki to her classmate, the girl moved to the sink and started washing the pans, Akashi's and hers.

"Aren't you scared of me then? A boy who is always talking to himself and sometimes doesn't seem to be himself. Isn't that weird? Isn't that frightening? So why do you still help me? Why do you still talk to me like normal?" Still rooted on his spot, the redhead looked at the plate of tamagoyaki in his hands; for the first time in his life, he was afraid to look into a person's eyes.

"You ask an awful lots of questions you know?" the girl paused and waited for Akashi to look up. As soon as he did, she continued, "I talk to you because I want to know more about you. I want to be your friend, Akashi-kun."

The words sat on Akashi's shoulders for awhile, then they decided to make their way into his ears.

"Friend? You want to be my _friend?_"

A nod.

"Aren't you scared of me? After knowing that I-"

"Akashi-kun you are smart but you can be quite stupid when it comes to this type of things ne?" smiled the girl, "I'm not scared of you. A person who helps me with my homework can't be all that bad, that's my logic!"

For the redhead, that day was a day full of surprises. First, a girl witnessed his mistake. Second, that girl ordered him to beat eggs. Third, the same girl wanted to be his friend. Fourth, she called him stupid and her logic was ridiculous. Fifth was what surprised him the most; he actually wanted to be her friend too. Maybe all along Akashi was separating himself from others because he didn't want to frighten them by who he really was. Maybe all along Akashi longed for a friend, longed for someone to accept him for who he was. Maybe all along Akashi was feeling lonely.

That same afternoon, a boy and a girl sat together in class during lunch break eating tamagoyaki together.

* * *

Lately, Akashi has been ignoring me in school. He doesn't reply to me like he used to, instead now he talks to some girl named Hiroki. He calls her a friend but for me she is a nuisance. She is the reason why Akashi stops talking to me in school. When I told him a few days ago that I didn't like this Hiroki and he should stop being friend with her, he got angry at me. He scolded me. He was so protective over her, saying she was a nice girl and I should try liking her. Akashi also spends more time with his new friend after school. He doesn't reply me during those times as well. He ignores my existence whenever he is with her. It feels like he _abandons _me for that girl. And I don't like this one bit.

* * *

"Akashi-kun, do you know the answer to this question?" Hiroki pointed to a particular question in her textbook. Akashi and her were studying together after school.

_This question is so easy and she can't even figure out. This girl is such an idiot Akashi._

"It's 24, Hiroki-chan." Ignoring the voice inside his head, the redhead answered his friend's question.

_Hmmm still not talking to me?_

"Can you explain how to do it?"

_Are you going to waste your time explaining this simple question to an airhead? You can spend that time do better things than this._

Akashi continued to write down equations in Hiroki's notebook.

_What nerve you have to ignore me Akashi Seijuurou. I'll make you regret this._

Then blackness came.

When he opened his eyes, he could hear Hiroki's cries. He could see Hiroki lying on the floor grabbing her bleeding hand. He could see a blood stained scissor in his hand. It happened again. Akashi stood there with guilt in his fingers and apologises at his lips. The words were born on his breath and they died at his lips. At that moment, Akashi Seijuurou remembered the reason why he separated himself from others. It was not because he didn't want to frighten others by who he really was. It was because he didn't trust himself, he didn't know what he would do to them, he didn't want to _hurt_ them. For there was a devil inside him.

"It is not nice of you to call me a devil. I am you after all."

* * *

**Ahhhh the first part of this chapter is a bit messy bc I typed them in my phone at 1am, sleep was lurking around and tried to pull me to its side T.T honestly speaking I felt that this chapter is not really my best but I hope you lovely readers enjoy it nevertheless ^^ As usual thank you for reading and please review :D **


End file.
